Life Lines – Emma Marlow

Plymouth couple Karl and Emma Marlow were enjoying a normal family life. They had three beautiful children, good jobs, a nice home and a wide circle of friends and family. The couple married in 1998, with their first son Tom born a year later, second son James in 2001 and daughter Abbie in 2006. Karl worked as a heating engineer and Emma was the administrator at a local church and life was good.

But the family’s strong Christian faith was put to the extremist of tests in May 2016 when their lives were dramatically changed within the space of an hour. James, who was 15 at the time, had been experiencing a painful right knee for several weeks. Their local GP referred him for physiotherapy but his grandfather decided a second opinion was needed as James had to use a crutch to stand on his right leg because of the pain. They arranged for James to see an orthopaedic consultant at the Nuffield Hospital in Plymouth. He assessed James and suggested that cartilage and ligament damage was the probable cause and an MRI was the best way to assess the state of his knee in readiness for surgical repair. Emma said: “This was as we were expecting and seemed fairly straightforward. We were all so pleased that at last James would be on the road to recovery and his days of pain and discomfort were going to end.”

However, the MRI revealed a tumour the size of a small apple above the knee at the base of his femur. It was an extremely rare form of cancer called osteosarcoma, which affected around one person in a million each year in the UK. Emma said: “We were absolutely devastated and totally in pieces. Telling his siblings and the rest of the family was the hardest thing we had ever endured.” She said that James – who had given his life to the Lord at a young age – had always been the joker of the family, was witty, loveable and lived life to the full, especially following his beloved Plymouth Argyle. “The next day, thinking he would need to have his leg amputated, James was already checking out prosthetic running blades on the internet!”

What followed was countless visits to hospitals in Plymouth, Bristol and Birmingham, several agonising months of chemotherapy treatment and dozens of scans, MRIs and X-rays. Emma said: “James just accepted it. Never grumbled, never moaned, just faced each day and each obstacle with strength, determination, and a strong sense of humour.” In July 2016 James underwent surgery to have part of his knee and femur removed in an attempt to stop the spread of the cancer, which had also been found in one of his lungs. Thankfully after a gruelling year of treatment James was given the all-clear and the freedom to live life again and during the next three years James completed his GCSE’s and A levels, learnt to drive, had holidays, and generally lived life to the full making the most of every opportunity. Emma said: “Life was getting back to normal. We were four years into his journey and we were hopeful that he was free of cancer. We took the view that everything is fine unless we’re told otherwise. We lived like everything was fine.”

Sadly, in August 2020 his leg became swollen and scans revealed that the cancer had spread to his groin and lungs. Another round of chemotherapy was followed by the complete amputation of his right leg from the hip down in March 2021.At the end of 2021 it was discovered that the chemotherapy wasn’t working adequately doctors so suggested a trial drug which provided James with another seven months in which to celebrate his 21st birthday, take delivery of a new automatic mobility car and a job he loved as a project manager at a local company. Sadly, however, the control of the cancer ended in July 2022 when James quickly began to deteriorate and the family was told the devastating news that he only had a short while to live. James passed away peacefully at home two days later surrounded by his family.

Emma said: “Throughout his 21 years James never let anything stop him, especially his cancer diagnosis. Even after the surgery to amputate his leg he would go to football matches, out with friends, have weekends away, nothing could stop him. Life was for living! He used to say ‘I’m here to live life, not for a long life’.

Throughout the years of coping with cancer, Emma, Karl and James posted a regular blog charting the journey of his treatment and how the family was being upheld by their faith in Jesus. It provided a platform for them to share their hopes and fears and to thank God for all his goodness through the deeply challenging times. Over the years the blog – which can be found here – was followed by around 10,000 people in the UK and around the world.

Emma added: “The last year with James was amazing. We did so much as a family and had lots of great times. We were all so intentional about doing stuff together and having fun. We were not prepared to be robbed of that. We all lived for the moment. “There’s a saying by the famous Christian Corrie ten Boom which goes ‘Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength’ and that was what motivated us during the dark times.

“We have to live the rest of our lives without James, but there’s still a life to be lived and I’m still a mother of three. As Christians we have the promise of eternal life and we have felt that the veil between heaven and earth is so thin.”

Emma and the rest of the family were supported through the years of treatment and hospital stays by Young Lives v Cancer and recently held a charity ball at Boringdon Golf Club which raised over £12,000. They also set up a Fund in James’ memory on the Young Lives v Cancer website which has raised over £50,000 so far. Donations can still be made here

Emma recently shared her story on Cross Rhythms radio which can be found here. She is also co-hosting a regular Podcast called ‘Hope and the City’ with fellow Christian Rob Fowler.

This article was first published in the January editions of the Plymouth Chronicle.